To Cheat or Not to Cheat, Now that is the Question.

It’s been revealed to me that for humans, happiness is a state of being that is just too much too handle. The idea of supreme happiness scares the shit out of everyone. (Its ideal concept however, is why we are convinced that it is what life is meant to pursue.)

The easiest way out is to hurt ourselves. So we cheat. We cheat on our partners, we cheat on our friends, we cheat on our beliefs.

We cheat, not because we are unhappy with the situation or whatever relationship we are having, but because it is scarily perfect. So perfect that we find the need to double check with someone/something else. (Sadly, most of the time, it ends up at someone else’s expense).

Deny. Deny you are cheating. By all means, justify all you can that you are not cheating. Like it or not, that is just really your guilt talking.

As someone who has repeatedly cheated I say “You have to hurt a little to enjoy the living"

Shaggy sings in the background "It wasn't me"

Quiet dinner at the terrace. He smiles and says “this is… just nice”. "I hope it really is". Dan aku tenung bulan mengambang di Changkat Bukit Bintang

Lelaki-lelaki terus silih berganti. Mungkin aku dah tak naik heran?

The Heart Wants What it Wants

Lelaki itu mahu tahu hidup yang bagaimana yang aku mahu
Hidup yang tanpa noktah (.)
Cuma ada comma (,) colon (:) dan semi-colon (;)
Kalau perlu pun ada titik biarlah ia titik-titik yang berterusan (........), tanda nanti ada cerita sambungan

Lelaki itu mahu tahu sampai bila aku mahu hidup yang sebegitu
Sampai noktah hilang makna
Sampai perkataan ‘tamat’ tidak lagi ada

Lelaki itu mahukan aku.............................(bersambung)

;)

I had lunch with a friend of 15 years last Friday and the first thing he said was “At least respect la that it’s Friday, wear la baju kurung”.

My new t-shirt says:

I don’t just go to mosque and become a Malay Muslim only on Fridays.

Sahabatku Chairil Anwar, hari ini aku baca terjemahan puisi idolamu Rumi dan aku teringat yang aku selalunya tak ingat.

Kembali Pada Tuhan : Jalaluddin Rumi
Jika engkau belum mempunyai ilmu, hanyalah prasangka,
maka milikilah prasangka yang baik tentang Tuhan.

Begitulah caranya!

Jika engkau hanya mampu merangkak,
maka merangkaklah kepadaNya!

Jika engkau belum mampu berdoa dengan khusyuk,
maka tetaplah persembahkan doamu
yang kering, munafik dan tanpa keyakinan;
kerana Tuhan, dengan rahmatNya
akan tetap menerima mata wang palsumu!

Jika engkau masih mempunyai
seratus keraguan mengenai Tuhan,
maka kurangilah menjadi sembilan puluh sembilan saja.

Begitulah caranya!

Wahai pejalan!
Biarpun telah seratus kali engkau ingkar janji,
ayuhlah datang, dan datanglah lagi!

Kerana Tuhan telah berfirman:
“Ketika engkau melambung ke angkasa
ataupun terpuruk ke dalam jurang,
ingatlah kepadaKu,
kerana Akulah jalan itu.”

I Hate Men!

If not for their dicks, they would be utterly useless.

Giving you reasons to stay. Let’s start with: 1. I bring you yummy donuts

Scene 22 Take 1: Girl decides he is all worth it and gives her last try. She shows up at his 3.5mx10m office lobby and somehow manages to spot him in the crowd. She gives him her brightest smile and hands him a box of donuts.

Camera rolling.

Scene 25 Take 1: She walks away, head low, towards the dim lighted highway. Background music The Fray's How to Save a Life.

The end.

Black screen. No running credits.

"The ones who leave are not worth it. It’s the ones who stay who you should care about."

But I tried to stay…??